I was told a joke by my very first German teacher, during my very first German class. It goes like this: There was once a German man, who went to the opera. When he found his seat, he was saddened to see that his view of the stage was blocked by a large column. Regardless, he sat in his seat, because that was the seat printed on his ticket. As the opera progressed, very few other people came to watch the performance, and many seats in the opera house were vacant. Yet, the German man remained in his seat and enjoyed the opera, from behind the column, because that was the seat printed on his ticket.

Looking back, either I missed the humor in the “joke”, or it was more of a sweeping generalization about the German people. (Considering that my first German teacher was actually a Hollander, I am going to go with the latter option.)

It’s true: the Germans are orderly, precise, rule-abiding people, if I may make a sweeping generalization. To get to the point, today I went to the movies in Freiburg for the first time. Yes, I have managed to go 2+ years without going to the movie theater. Watching movies at home is hard to beat: the popcorn is cheaper, the alcohol flows more abundantly, and the floor is not a sticky. But that is beside the point.

Row D, Seat 4

While purchasing our tickets, the cashier asked if we would like to sit in the front or the back. This is an important question because, in Germany, you are assigned seats at the movies!

When we were greeted at the snack stand with a ridiculous line, there was no need for the usual division of duties: “I’ll go find some seats while you get the snacks.” Take all the time you want, people. No stress here…no one is going to sit in my assigned seat!

I was glad to see that there were no columns in the theater…because we sat in the seats printed on our tickets!

FKK = Freikörperkultur = Free Body Culture

It is a German word, but more of a European culture…for nudity. Throughout Europe, even if you don’t know the words, the letters themselves are understood as a designated area for nudists. It occurs mainly in the countries closest to Germany, but even in Croatia, FKK beaches are clearly marked on the maps, as to aid those who wish to participate, as well as those who wish to abstain. Now that you understand the concept, let’s get to the story.

Today, thanks to the incompetency of a new colleague who forgot I was seven hours ahead of her, I found myself with an open afternoon. Today is October 24^th. (It is important to note that.) I decided to enjoy this unexpected gift of a beautiful, work-free, fall afternoon and take the dog on a long walk to Freiburg’s Seepark.

The Seepark is a large park, complete with small lake, bike trails, eating pavilion, and even vineyards. There are also a few small hills in the park, right on the edge of the lake. I’m talking small hills here…not the Alps. These hills are so small that if I stood on top of one, I would be the same height as Joe. I emphasize this because “behind” these hills is where Freiburg’s FKK hang out (not so stealthily if I might add).

So, I’m walking Liv on our usual route around the lake, which passes by the “FKK hills”, and what do I see?! Yup…Germans in a complete state of undress. I thought to myself, “Oh my God…it’s October 24^th! What are they thinking?!” Ok, I get it; we live in the sunniest city in Germany. Fine. Yes, I also realize that today is an unseasonably warm Indian summer day. Cool, I want to be outside too. But really…it’s October 24^th!!

To be honest, I really have no problem with FKK in the Seepark, other than that Freiburg is a really small town and you’re an idiot if you think: 1) you are really hiding behind those “hills”, and 2) no one you know is also going to be enjoying the only body of water this side of the Black Forest. Today is not the first time we have seen FKKers at the Seepark. In the summer they are there every single day. Sometimes there is no free grass available because there are so many.  Joe wants it to be known that he saw a nudist riding his bike in the park one day. What part of a man riding a bike without pants makes sense? That’s just dangerous.

Spotting the FKKers incited a real dilemma for me. Here is how my mental turmoil unfolded: Trysta, (sometimes I talk to myself in the 3^rd person) taking pictures of naked people in the park is inappropriate. But if I don’t take any, no one is going to believe me when I tell them that there were nudists in the Seepark on October 24^th! It is way too late in the season for this. There should be rules forbidding FKK past August 31^st. Crap…I still need documentation. I can pretend to text while letting Liv “sniff” her way over there and then snap a pic. No, that is a bad plan. Seriously, no one needs sun in those places at this time of year. Seriously, Trysta? You’re acting like such an American right now.

I mean, it is weird…right? We are almost at 48^oN latitude here, which means late October is no time to be hanging around outside without some sort of protection from the elements. Chicago already had its first frost, and Chicago is further south than Freiburg! Why don’t they just juggle, or tight-rope walk, or twirl a baton like everybody else? (I’m not exaggerating here…Seepark is a very talented place!) It’s definitely weird.

At this point in my musings I had walked half way around the lake already, lost in my own attempt to make sense of this bewildering madness. Then, I spotted a perfect location to collect clandestine evidence, concealed by the overgrowth of some trees. See…now no one can say I was making this stuff up!

Ha! Who’s the weird one now?!  🙂