die zulässige Höchstgeschwindigkeit

The stereotypes are correct: Germans are law-abiding people. You can see it everywhere. At first, I thought it was really endearing to watch these phenomena play out around me. I viewed them as evidence that sometime, somewhere, this society had done something right to make all of its members believe they must follow even the simplest of rules. I contemplated how this could be transferred to other countries, because, in the simplest of terms, I believe the world would be a better place if everyone just followed the rules.

Here is my favorite example: crossing the street. German pedestrians will wait for the little green walking man every time. Every. Single. Time. It could be -30oC, howling winds whipping horizontal hail, 2:00am, without a car in sight and the Germans will be lined up on one side of the street, waiting for the signal. It isn’t even a home-turf thing. There are other cities/countries within the EU that are well known as being “hot spots” for German travelers, and even outside of Germany I see them patiently waiting for permission to proceed.

Again, I used to get a kick out of this and other amazing acts of rule-adherence. Used to.

Now, it’s getting to be a bit much. Particularly with the rules of the road. Here are a few critical things I have learned about following “The Rules of the German Road”:

  • Don’t even think about driving through a tunnel without your lights on. No matter how bright it is outside the tunnel. If you forget, everyone will let you know, inside the tunnel, that you have failed to use your lights.
  • Pedestrian walkways are made of gold. It’s great when you are a pedestrian. I am so brazen lately, stepping right out with confidence. No looking both ways, no slowing down, just enjoying the sound of screeching breaks as I leisurely stroll from one side of the street to another. When you’re the driver, its awful. They should make fuzz-busters for pedestrians. A warning to remind you that there is a pedestrian within 1000 meters who might be thinking about crossing a street somewhere.
  • If you’re in the left lane, you better be passing. And you better be passing at 85+mph, or you are going to get some road-rage from behind. Tailgating, flashing of head lights, and in extreme cases, use of the warning lights to let everyone know that you made the guy behind you rapidly decrease from 120mph to 80mph, because you couldn’t get your act in gear in the left lane.

So, let’s get to the point and dispel some common misconceptions about German roadways.

The Point: speed limits. The Misconception: German roadways (specifically the Autobahn) don’t have them. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Every single German roadway has a speed limit, even the Autobahn. You see, they aren’t frequently posted because you (the well informed, law-abiding driver) are expected to know the rules regarding speed limits, thus eliminating the need for excessive signage. I will say, that on the Autobahn, the speed limit is more like a “recommendation” because there is minimal enforcement. However, on every other road…you better watch out!

Don’t believe me? In the past 17 months, Joe and I have collected more speeding tickets than the average wait-time at the DMV. It takes about 2 months from the time the violation was committed, to the time the ticket arrives at our APO box. Traditional first-tasks at the APO box have turned into: search for guilty-looking envelopes, find out ‘who done it’, then determine if that person has beat his/her personal best for “lowest number of fine-able km/h over the limit”.

(I have also included miles/hour here, so you can clearly understand the ridiculousness I am talking about.)

Trysta’s record: 8km = 4.9 miles over
Joe’s record: 7km = 4.3 miles over

Most common phrase heard within the Wall-family vehicle: “You better slow the f down, my friend.”

Evidence that Joe was not only speeding, but speeding WITH an innocent canine passenger. Unglaublich!

Evidence that Joe was not only speeding, but speeding WITH an innocent
canine passenger. Unglaublich!

When I was teenager, the thought of admitting to and dealing with a traffic ticket made my stomach turn. Now, I find it quite amusing. Almost entertaining. Oh, those funny Germans! If only they could give me a ticket for walking across the street on a red light.

Weihnachtszeit

…ist unsere Lieblingsjahreszeit! If there was a record for the highest number of rainy nights spent at a Christmas Market, we would have topped it. It has been a rainy, crappy winter, but filled with the holiday spirit nonetheless! Ultimately, it really only takes one thing to get me in the spirit…Glühwein!

Here are our Weihnachtsmarkt visits for this year:

FREIBURG – We got to see St. Nick this year in Freiburg on Sankt Nikolaus Tag, another day of gift receiving for German kids (lucky!).

We also saw some other characters in Freiburg. You never know who is going to come down from the forest and hit the “big city” for the day! This guy apparently needed a few new pieces for his crèche.

 

ULM – Ulm is a fun and wacky little town. It is Einstein’s birthplace, home to “the narrowest house”, “the crookedest house”, and most importantly, the world’s tallest cathedral steeple. The 161.5m/530ft spire looms over the festive Christmas market.

 

ST. WENDEL – I think the prize for coolest Christmas Market goes to St. Wendel this year. You just can’t top real reindeer and a sleigh!

Did I mention that reindeer are my favorite Christmas “icon”? This face just screams, “It’s time for Christmas people!!”

The family is finally complete.

 

TRIER – Germany’s oldest city blessed us with one of our very few rainless market trips. Instead, a beautiful coating of snow!

We also learned about a new German treat in Trier – Dampfnudeln! Balls of dough filled with your choice of gooey goodness (usually cherries or chocolate), and then topped with more oozing sugary delight!

 

GENGENBACH – Every year, since 1996, the town of Gengenbach turns its Town Hall into the world’s largest Advent calendar! Every single night there is a concert, play, and then a new window is lit. Advent ist Zuhause in Gengenbach!

 

LUDWIGSBURG – The rain just wouldn’t quit in Ludwigsburg, but that never stopped us!

 

ESSLINGEN – Esslingen had a bumpin’ Medieval market, and a great Rathaus (Town Hall).

 

STUTTGART – Our love-hate relationship continues with Stuttgart. This time, the scales pushed towards love! For the Walls, love looks like Langos!

 

That’s all for this season, folks. Did I mention that I love reindeer? Frohe Weihnachten!

 

der Kamelhof

Who would have thought that Europe’s largest camel farm would be right here in the Black Forest?!

Lucky for us, most of the 87 camels were inside for the day.

Liv was allowed to join the fun, but I don’t think she was much of a fan. Most of the time, she utilized the “if I look away, it’s as if they don’t exist” method.

Look away Liv, just look away.

They, however, were totally intrigued by her.

Apparently the tried and true “getting to know each other” methods span across cultures and species!

Liv gets a little sniff in the rear end!

The owner of the camel farm was really interesting. He bought his first set of camels in 1987 and has been advocating for the rightful treatment of the species ever since. He opened his camel farm in 2002 and uses it to educate the public, as well as provide therapy for autistic children. Apparently, a camel’s milk also has fantastic healing properties, but the processes of commercial distribution are still in-process.

I mean, I guess who wouldn’t fall in love with a face like this?

A face only a mother would love.

This picture is actually a hot mess of blurriness, but look at those teeth! I love it!

No editing here. Just straight-up crappy photo taking!

And then, sometimes, you just have to kiss a lot of camels, before you find…well…whatever it is you are looking for!

Alright, enough dog-torture for the day. Somebody has had just about enough.

Merry Christmas, from the Kamelhof!