Category Archives: Germany

Things That Are Just Funny

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So, this post has been about 18 months in the making. It started off as just a collection of funny signs in Germany, but has expanded to unbelievable/ridiculous print media throughout Europe. I actually have a bunch more, but maybe those can fill another installment of “things that are just funny”. Enjoy!

This picture is where it all started. I actually took this picture the first week we were in Freiburg and I took it out of necessity, not because I thought it was funny. There are about 4 of these signs around our apartment building, and as the owner of a very “regular” K9, I figured I better know what our limitations were.

no dog pooping

 

Speaking of dog poop, here is a good one. Just in case you forgot how to pick up excrement, the French are more than willing to remind you, with step-by-step directions.

What is that dog at the top even saying?!

What is that dog at the top even saying?!

 

Now, what happens when you see this sign outside the bathroom? I mean, is there no peeing allowed at all? No peeing standing up? No peeing in the actual toilet? No peeing small marbles? What are you supposed to do? Pee in your pants while trying to figure it out, I guess.

no peeing

 

Here is a semi-truck, somewhere on the German Autobahn. Nothing says “Wow, I feel like eating some fruit right now” like a naked girl sitting on top of said fruit. Clearly, sanitation regulations must be more relaxed in Germany!

fruit butt

 

Check out these from Oktoberfest. Sorry vegetarians, there is no mistaking what kind of sandwich you are going to get here!

sorry vegetarians

 

And look at this one! Sorry, no kid-vomit permitted here. Ok, not a problem. Let me just ask my kid to hold back those chunks (s)he is about to blow, while I find a more suitable locale.

throwing up

 

Drum roll…..here’s my favorite!! I saw this one on the elevator of our hotel in Stockholm, Sweden. Apparently, the decapitation risk is high if you decide to take your trash can into the elevator with you. Good to know, good to know.

elevator danger

 

Stay tuned, who knows what else we’ll find next on this crazy continent!

That’s What Dads Are For

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Today I dropped my Dad off at the airport after a great visit. It was filled with highs and lows, both literally and figuratively. I’ll expand on the highs, keep the lows brief, and leave everything between for him to tell!

We headed to Garmisch-Partenkirchen for my Dad’s first Alpine ski adventure. First day’s highlight was a trip down the Kandahar! Now, when he watches it on TV he can tell everyone he has skied it himself!!

IMG_1328

The next day was even better! The weather was perfect, so we decided to head to Germany’s highest peak, the Zugspitze.

IMG_1337

 

It says, “Treading on the roof area forbidden. Beware! Mortal danger”. Yeah, clearly!

It says, “Treading on the roof area forbidden. Beware! Mortal danger”. Yeah, clearly!

 

It was such a great day skiing in the bowl of the Zugspitze. No clouds, no wind, shining sun, good legs. One of those days that you doze off a little on the chairlift in the warmth of the sun. God, I love those days!

Zugspitze

 

Now, here comes the low. Thankfully it waited until after our great day to strike. I don’t know if it was the Frankfurter I ate at high altitude,  riding backwards on a cog-wheel train from the highest peak in Germany, or some creepy bug deciding to take residence in my stomach, but within seconds of climbing off the train, everyone still aboard was gifted with a nice show of me disgorging my lunch.

If that wasn’t bad enough, it just got worse. After retch #10 I figured I better start keeping track, because something wasn’t right. Around #15 my Dad urged me to get a doctor because he was clocking me at a consistent 10-minute turn-around time. When I was in high school he used to time my splits in the 500m Freestyle. As an adult, I guess it is heave-intervals! In the middle of the night I woke up to pray to the porcelain gods and really thought I had been successful at not waking him. (Who was I kidding?)  I heard him say, “Well, it’s been three and a half hours since last time. That’s a record!”

The doctor called it a “stomach infection”.  After regurgitation #29 I called it “pure hell”. The following day, after finally mustering enough upchuck-control, we headed for home. When I thanked him for taking care of me and wandering into a foreign town in a foreign country late at night to pick up three prescriptions from the doctor, my Dad’s simple response was, “That’s what Dads are for.” I chocked back a few tears and hoped they wouldn’t trigger my gag reflex.

Back on the mend, we headed for the Swiss Alps. Europe’s highest peak, the Jungfrau, is located just outside Interlaken, Switzerland. We opted to skip the 175Franc (each!) price tag to take the train to Europe’s highest train station and instead enjoyed a view that included the peak.

Dad and Joe trying to figure out which peak was the Jungfrau and which was the Eiger.

Dad and Joe trying to figure out which peak was the Jungfrau and which was the Eiger.

 

It was yet another fantastic day in the mountains!

The Bernese Alps

The Bernese Alps

 

Brienzersee

Brienzersee

 

My Dad added 4 countries to his log during this visit! In his own words, “ain’t bad for an old man!” Nice work, Dad!

groβe Umschläge

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I am convinced that good things always come in big envelopes! Always. It never fails.

Joe received his “big envelope” back in July (click here), which was, in all honesty and reality, much more important than mine. However, the Deutsche Post kindly delivered a big envelope to me today and a girl’s gotta’ take the victories where she can, right?! I am going to unabashedly toot my own horn here for a few paragraphs, so just enjoy the celebration with me!

I have been enrolled in German class for 15 solid months. The very first day, I walked in not knowing a single word, with absolutely no prior classwork (click here to laugh at my expense). Thank goodness no one told me what I was getting into, or I might have turned back at the Philly airport.

Language learning is broken down into different levels, as follows: (A = basic, B= intermediate, C = advanced)

A1: don’t know a single thing to forming basic sentences and using basic tenses

A2

B1: minimal level required for employment in Germany

B2

C1: minimal level required for University study in Germany

C2: this level is not offered at any institution other than the Goethe Institute, but is required if you wish to endorse legal papers, open a business, and other things I will never need/want to do

 

In October 2011, I started at A1. This past December, I decided I was going to take the national C1 Goethe Institute language examination. Here is what my teachers said about it:

  • Only 1 in 5 pass the test.
  • It takes the average student 3 years to master this examination.
  • If you haven’t been reading the newspaper everyday up until now, it is too late to start now. (Whoops! That was me!)
  • Trysta, I don’t recommend that you take this test because I don’t believe you can pass it. (At my school, you have to acquire written permission from a teacher stating that you at least have a shot in hell of passing.)

Good thing one of my teachers believed in me and signed my paper. If the teacher quoted above was one of the teachers I work with professionally, he would have heard, “You’re fired!”

So, fueled by the low expectations of a poor educator, I went for it!  I can’t wait to show that teacher just how wrong he was.

Results say… “Gut – 80%”   I’ll take it! I never got higher than a C in Organic Chemistry, and German and Organic Chemistry have some pretty strong similarities in my opinion, so I feel good!

test results

With this piece of paper, I have proudly accomplished one of the goals I set for myself at the start of our second year (click here). Maybe now I will have the confidence to talk to that cheerful homeless man on the street.

On another note, while I have been rockin’ out and making “Victory Dance Playlists” to my favorite Flo Rida and Justin Timberlake songs, Joe is sitting in class, diligently learning all things political and German. There is no one I have seen work harder in the past year and a half than him. He also landed in this country speaking absolutely no German. We decided against using a combined experience of 10+ years of Spanish acquisition to our advantage, and instead decided to tackle a new challenge, together. Neither one of us was raised to seek out the easy road. The expectations in Freiburg are exceptionally high and the time limit is intimidatingly short. Joe has made it happen, better and faster than me.

As I pat myself on the back and celebrate my small accomplishment, it is really only because of him. I don’t really believe in public gushing. I think it is more important to tell someone directly how much they mean to you, how proud of them you are, etc. than to tell everyone else. However, today I feel like shouting from the rooftops just how lucky I feel to have him in my life and how proud of him I am for everything good he contributes to this world. I know I wouldn’t be alone on that roof either. Joe’s Grandpa Yañez has been telling me for years that Joe is “the smartest man alive.” I think we know where he got it from.

Since the day I met him, Joe has made me a better person. Recently, he has also made me a better German speaker. I’m really proud of you Joe. Thank you for your selfless support.