People ask me all the time: “What is the one thing from Germany you are going to miss when you go back to the States?”

My response: Spargel. (Click here for last year’s Spargel adventures.)

More specifically, I am going to miss walking to the Farmer’s Market on the 11th century Münsterplatz of my Black Forest town, shopping for the most local Spargel I can find, purchasing it in another language, and then sitting on the bar stool in the kitchen drinking white wine while watching my husband turn said Spargel into an amazing Spargelcremesuppe with homemade croutons. The joy of eating it goes without saying!

Oh yeah, and Spargeltoast from my favorite Strauβenwirtschaft (click here for Strauβenwirtschaft reminder).

That’s it: the one thing (of so many) I’m going to miss!

I am convinced that good things always come in big envelopes! Always. It never fails.

Joe received his “big envelope” back in July (click here), which was, in all honesty and reality, much more important than mine. However, the Deutsche Post kindly delivered a big envelope to me today and a girl’s gotta’ take the victories where she can, right?! I am going to unabashedly toot my own horn here for a few paragraphs, so just enjoy the celebration with me!

I have been enrolled in German class for 15 solid months. The very first day, I walked in not knowing a single word, with absolutely no prior classwork (click here to laugh at my expense). Thank goodness no one told me what I was getting into, or I might have turned back at the Philly airport.

Language learning is broken down into different levels, as follows: (A = basic, B= intermediate, C = advanced)

A1: don’t know a single thing to forming basic sentences and using basic tenses

A2

B1: minimal level required for employment in Germany

B2

C1: minimal level required for University study in Germany

C2: this level is not offered at any institution other than the Goethe Institute, but is required if you wish to endorse legal papers, open a business, and other things I will never need/want to do

In October 2011, I started at A1. This past December, I decided I was going to take the national C1 Goethe Institute language examination. Here is what my teachers said about it:

• Only 1 in 5 pass the test.
• It takes the average student 3 years to master this examination.
• If you haven’t been reading the newspaper everyday up until now, it is too late to start now. (Whoops! That was me!)
• Trysta, I don’t recommend that you take this test because I don’t believe you can pass it. (At my school, you have to acquire written permission from a teacher stating that you at least have a shot in hell of passing.)

Good thing one of my teachers believed in me and signed my paper. If the teacher quoted above was one of the teachers I work with professionally, he would have heard, “You’re fired!”

So, fueled by the low expectations of a poor educator, I went for it!  I can’t wait to show that teacher just how wrong he was.

Results say… “Gut – 80%”   I’ll take it! I never got higher than a C in Organic Chemistry, and German and Organic Chemistry have some pretty strong similarities in my opinion, so I feel good!

With this piece of paper, I have proudly accomplished one of the goals I set for myself at the start of our second year (click here). Maybe now I will have the confidence to talk to that cheerful homeless man on the street.

On another note, while I have been rockin’ out and making “Victory Dance Playlists” to my favorite Flo Rida and Justin Timberlake songs, Joe is sitting in class, diligently learning all things political and German. There is no one I have seen work harder in the past year and a half than him. He also landed in this country speaking absolutely no German. We decided against using a combined experience of 10+ years of Spanish acquisition to our advantage, and instead decided to tackle a new challenge, together. Neither one of us was raised to seek out the easy road. The expectations in Freiburg are exceptionally high and the time limit is intimidatingly short. Joe has made it happen, better and faster than me.

As I pat myself on the back and celebrate my small accomplishment, it is really only because of him. I don’t really believe in public gushing. I think it is more important to tell someone directly how much they mean to you, how proud of them you are, etc. than to tell everyone else. However, today I feel like shouting from the rooftops just how lucky I feel to have him in my life and how proud of him I am for everything good he contributes to this world. I know I wouldn’t be alone on that roof either. Joe’s Grandpa Yañez has been telling me for years that Joe is “the smartest man alive.” I think we know where he got it from.

Since the day I met him, Joe has made me a better person. Recently, he has also made me a better German speaker. I’m really proud of you Joe. Thank you for your selfless support.

The stereotypes are correct: Germans are law-abiding people. You can see it everywhere. At first, I thought it was really endearing to watch these phenomena play out around me. I viewed them as evidence that sometime, somewhere, this society had done something right to make all of its members believe they must follow even the simplest of rules. I contemplated how this could be transferred to other countries, because, in the simplest of terms, I believe the world would be a better place if everyone just followed the rules.

Here is my favorite example: crossing the street. German pedestrians will wait for the little green walking man every time. Every. Single. Time. It could be -30^oC, howling winds whipping horizontal hail, 2:00am, without a car in sight and the Germans will be lined up on one side of the street, waiting for the signal. It isn’t even a home-turf thing. There are other cities/countries within the EU that are well known as being “hot spots” for German travelers, and even outside of Germany I see them patiently waiting for permission to proceed.

Again, I used to get a kick out of this and other amazing acts of rule-adherence. Used to.

Now, it’s getting to be a bit much. Particularly with the rules of the road. Here are a few critical things I have learned about following “The Rules of the German Road”:

• Don’t even think about driving through a tunnel without your lights on. No matter how bright it is outside the tunnel. If you forget, everyone will let you know, inside the tunnel, that you have failed to use your lights.
• Pedestrian walkways are made of gold. It’s great when you are a pedestrian. I am so brazen lately, stepping right out with confidence. No looking both ways, no slowing down, just enjoying the sound of screeching breaks as I leisurely stroll from one side of the street to another. When you’re the driver, its awful. They should make fuzz-busters for pedestrians. A warning to remind you that there is a pedestrian within 1000 meters who might be thinking about crossing a street somewhere.
• If you’re in the left lane, you better be passing. And you better be passing at 85+mph, or you are going to get some road-rage from behind. Tailgating, flashing of head lights, and in extreme cases, use of the warning lights to let everyone know that you made the guy behind you rapidly decrease from 120mph to 80mph, because you couldn’t get your act in gear in the left lane.

So, let’s get to the point and dispel some common misconceptions about German roadways.

The Point: speed limits. The Misconception: German roadways (specifically the Autobahn) don’t have them. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Every single German roadway has a speed limit, even the Autobahn. You see, they aren’t frequently posted because you (the well informed, law-abiding driver) are expected to know the rules regarding speed limits, thus eliminating the need for excessive signage. I will say, that on the Autobahn, the speed limit is more like a “recommendation” because there is minimal enforcement. However, on every other road…you better watch out!

Don’t believe me? In the past 17 months, Joe and I have collected more speeding tickets than the average wait-time at the DMV. It takes about 2 months from the time the violation was committed, to the time the ticket arrives at our APO box. Traditional first-tasks at the APO box have turned into: search for guilty-looking envelopes, find out ‘who done it’, then determine if that person has beat his/her personal best for “lowest number of fine-able km/h over the limit”.

(I have also included miles/hour here, so you can clearly understand the ridiculousness I am talking about.)

Trysta’s record: 8km = 4.9 miles over
Joe’s record: 7km = 4.3 miles over

Most common phrase heard within the Wall-family vehicle: “You better slow the f down, my friend.”

Evidence that Joe was not only speeding, but speeding WITH an innocent
canine passenger. Unglaublich!

When I was teenager, the thought of admitting to and dealing with a traffic ticket made my stomach turn. Now, I find it quite amusing. Almost entertaining. Oh, those funny Germans! If only they could give me a ticket for walking across the street on a red light.