die Übersetzung (the translation)

We have had our household goods for nearly a month now. We have had Internet installed for over a week. However, we are still without television. The first time the Deutsch Telekom gentlemen were here they were unsuccessful at getting the cable to work correctly on the TV. They returned a second time and came to the conclusion that it is not their problem because the cable connection is working….and it is our TV that is “broken”.

Sadly, they are right. If we connect the cable set-up to the 15 inch, $99, Walmart-special, TV we can watch perfect cable…in German. When we connect the big, expensive, TV we get nothing! After hours of researching (is it a HDMI issue? PAL conversion problem? Do we even want to watch TV again? Do we have to buy a European television too?) we settled on ordering a converter from Amazon. Hopefully we will actually have our hands on it in 60-90 days!

All these headaches lead us to the fun discoveries in the electronics department of the local department store. Without television, we figured we would start watching movies in German with English subtitles. We bought a region-free DVD player and then headed to the movie section.

The covers of the movies are generally the same as in the US. It was “Little Fockers” that tipped me off to differences in translation. An entire three weeks of Intensive German classes means that I can actually understand every single word of the title of “Little Fockers”! Yeah!! However, it definitely doesn’t translate directly.

Joe and I wandered around all the movies and laughed at the titles that got lost in translation. “Money Pit” is my favorite! The German title of “The Dilemma” should have some familiar words too!! Check out these beauties below….

Movie Cover

German Title

Translation

English Title

     Meine Frau, unsere  Kinder, und ich  My Wife, Our Kids, and I  Little Fockers
  Mein Schatz, unsere Familie und ich My Sweetie, Our Families and I Four Christmases
  Freundschaftplus Friendship Plus Friends with Benefits
   Jungfrau(40), männlich, sucht…  Virgin (40), male, searches…  The 40 Year Old Virgin
   Geschenkt ist noch zu teuer  Gift is still too expensive  Money Pit
   Wenn Liebe  so einfach wäre  If love would be so simple  It’s Complicated
    Zeiten des Aufruhrs  Times of turmoil  Revolutionary Road
   Dickste Freunde  The Thickest Friends  The Dilemma

 

Goethe Institut

Back to school….back to school….

We are finally starting language training! I have been going to school, in one fashion or another, since kindergarten. However, there was something that felt very different about this particular first day of school. More nerves, more uncertainty, more at stake, I don’t know. I prepped “the yellow backpack”, which has been lying dormant for nearly seven years now. It was pretty pumped to be out and about town! Joe and I walked to school, early, and waited anxiously. We wandered around to try and find room numbers, without luck, so that is apparently not a part of German school-culture.

Most of the students at the Goethe are staying in Germany only for a short time to attend class, so they live in the Guesthouse, which is like a dormitory. The Institute has an amazing culture and travel program to help everyone get to know each other, as well as experience southwest Germany. There is a cultural or social activity planned every day of the week. Seven days a week for the entirety of the class! It is like a cruise boat – I love it! Sadly, we have not been able to participate yet and will not for a little bit, because this cruise-boat director already has the family booked on other adventures!

There is almost no English spoken in class, because not all the students speak English. The directions, explanations, etc. are all in German. Overwhelming for sure. I understand more Spanish from my Valencian classmates, than German from the teacher. There is one other American in my class. She hasn’t made the best impression thus far: she missed class today, our second day, due to a hangover! She is only twenty.

The Walls made a marital decision to be in different classes at the same level. However, Joe got assigned to the afternoon class. This will put a crimp on our social and travel plans a bit, as well as the speed of unpacking, but we will manage. The goal is to share information and friends. I already have my eye on one of his friends – a soon-to-be Austrian ski instructor! My friends are not yet worth sharing. The American is too young, pessimistic, and can’t control her liquor. My Spanish is not fluent enough for the Valencians. I am working on a Canadian.

Since I have already thoroughly covered “potty talk” (sorry MOM), I must be completely honest about the content of my class. There is a lot of dick-talk. Mid-way through Day One, we are tasked with looking up opposite adjectives. I scan the room for inspiration and decide to focus on fat and skinny. Well, in Deutsch, fat/thick is “dick”. Surprised, I consult my group members, who agree with their own resources that the translation is correct. Ok, dick it is. Well, guess who gets picked to write the group’s adjectives on the board? Yup…me! As I work my way down our list, I feel the anxiety grow as I get closer and closer to “dick” and “mager”. I keep thinking, what if I am wrong? I am going to be the ridiculous American who wrote “dick” on the board. Ahhhhhhhh!!!

I did it though, I wrote “dick” for everyone to see. D-I-C-K, in perfect cursive. Any more brain busters?

I then tried to turn around and act as if I wasn’t totally mortified inside. The teacher talked his way through all of the adjectives, and used a thick dictionary to make the difference between “dick” and “mager” clear for everyone. Das Wörterbuch ist dick.

Day Two. By now, I have forgotten the names of my classmates that I could understand, and didn’t concern myself with the names of those I couldn’t understand. The task for this morning is to introduce each other. We are practicing how to say “Wie bitte? (What?), and Noch einmal, bitte (Once more, please) and then asking each person to spell their name. One classmate spells out his name and I write it letter by letter on my paper. D-I-K-D-I-K. It is pronounced “Dickdick.” Oh geez. With only nine people in the class, there are plenty of opportunities to be called on and lots of practicing. So, Dikdik here….Dikdik there….das ist dick…..das ist dick…..on and on. I have not used the word dick, without repercussion, so many times in my life!

The good news is that I will never forget what the German word for “fat/thick” is…and neither will you!

Update on die Französisch

So, apparently the French don’t think we are that snobby, as they have turned into our “first friends” in Germany. Ends up that Mrs. French is actually German! However, the three children were born in France and the family moved to Freiburg eleven years ago to ensure that the kids learned adequate German, in addition to their French. Of course, they are also working on English.

Several days after we moved into the flat, Joe and I were walking back from town and saw Mrs. French/German at our building door, trying to ring us upstairs. We walked up behind her and said hello. She said that she owned “the best map of Freiburg” and wanted to know if we were interested in having a copy! She showed us why it was such a great map, but said that she has to go to a special shop to get one and they are often sold out. However, she was on her way to the magazine shop today and would look for one for us! Of course we were interested, but more surprised than anything else to see her again.

Almost two weeks passed and there was no word from Mrs. French/German. Now, it is close to the end of September and Joe and I are struggling to install some light fixtures in the rooms. You see, the entire building is made of cement, making drilling quite difficult, on top of the fact that we had heard from others that the electrical wires are easily drilled into behind the walls/ceilings! Joe did some research online regarding the electricity, and we continued to function as best we could with flashlights, but were in a bind since the tools and electricity sensors were in the household goods shipment that had not arrived yet. The only thing we could think of was to ask the French….the only people we know!

We sent an e-mail on Monday. Mrs. French called on Tuesday. On Wednesday the entire family came to the flat! Mr. French looked at the lighting with Joe and said that he had some tools we could borrow for the project. Mrs. French/German brought the map and would not let us reimburse her for it. On Thursday our household goods finally arrived! In the midst of all the chaos, the middle French daughter showed up at the door. She had come to take Liv for a walk! Liv was grateful – I had trepidations. For those of you that know Liv…and me…and our walking situation….you understand my concern. But what was I supposed to do? Say to an adolescent who barley speaks English, “Well, the dog is only 15 pounds, but she thinks she is 150 pounds, so if you see another dog she will want to attack it. Your choices are to run the other way, or pull the leash like this and give her this command, and spray with the squirt bottle”? Doubtful. I handed over the dog and the squirt bottle and said, “If she acts bad, just tissss……tissss (miming how to spray her with the bottle). Off they went. They both returned unscathed. Poor girl even had to pick up poop. I wonder what part of the trash she put it in?

Later that night, after the movers had left, Mr. French showed up! He had two hands full of tools!

Fast-forward to Sunday. It is a three-day weekend for the Germans. Around 10:30am Joe receives a text on his phone….all in German! The only way that we know it is for us is becayse it starts with: Hi Trysta and Joe. Thanks to iTranslate it reads: Hi Trysta and Joe, would you come with us for Soup Festival at the Municipal Theatre today eat together by 13 clock to lunch there? Best regards.  It is Mrs. French/German! I called her and we scheduled to meet in front of our building at 1300.

The rest of the afternoon was filled with laughs with the French! They took us to the theater, which was hosting the Soup Festival. Each of the International clubs in Freiburg had a table, which boasted a traditional soup served in an edible bowl! Mr. French pulled seven glasses out of his backpack and an unmarked bottle of “New Wine”, which is the juice from the first press of grapes. Apparently it has a really high CO2 content, so consumption must be monitored for fear of headaches, and the top must not be wound tightly, or else the gas from the fermentation that is still in progress will cause it to explode! He also pulled a cheesecake out of his pack. Like Mary Poppins!  Despite the challenges in languages, humor was strongly present. The edible bowls were likened to communion wafers, so that made a good laugh several times over about “eating our prayers”. Mr. French said that he had brought “desert”, and we laughed about the nuances of eating “desert” and “dessert”.

Then, we walked for ice cream and up the Schlossberg (Freiburg’s foothill to the Black Forest) and to the Kanonenplatz, which overlooks the entire town. This is about an hour and a half worth of walking and talking. Mrs. French/German and I discussed education a lot. The youth of Germany only go to school until 1:00pm, after which they are supposed to engage in their “hobbies”. Well, the government is trying to change this because the kids are sitting behind computers and game counsels, instead of actually partaking in extra-curricular activities. She also told me about the challenges that many teachers face in terms of parental-involvement (mainly non-involvement) and their apathy towards supporting the education of their children. Interesting: same problems, different country.

I explained to her the similar challenges that I have faced as an educator working in the inner-city. Mrs. French/German then posed the most interesting question: Why do they call it “inner-city”? Excellent question, which I could not answer. She pointed out that it actually has nothing to do with location within the city, as the challenging parts of town are often on the outer rims. True, true, I never thought about the literal translation of “inner-city”.  I tried to explain that “inner-city” is really just a label for a collection of particular challenges- poverty, inequity of educational resources, crime, etc.  The achievement gap and all its contributing factors, simplified. She understood everything, except the rationale behind the name. Same for me.

When we finally returned home, over three hours later, the children walked home to their flat, and Mr. & Mrs. French/German came upstairs to our place. Once inside, Mary Poppins style again, Mr. French took a jar of blackberry jam out of his backpack for us! “This is for you!” Mrs. French/German helped me solve the very important question of: Where does one get furniture besides IKEA? I told them my maiden name was Malm and then Mr. French proceeded to have a good laugh at my expense. In essence, he called me the “princess of IKEA” and mimed me lying on the beds enjoying my territory. It was pretty funny, especially with his accent and broken English, compensated for with elaborate gestures. He and Joe continued to work on the lighting dilemma, and when an extra piece of wood was needed, he went home to his cellar and returned later to complete the job! Voilà! As he was leaving, he asked Joe to watch a rugby game at the pub with him in a few weeks.

Needless to say, we are in the process of trying to thank the French for their generosity of gifts, information, and most importantly – humor! Five hours of unpacking time was well wasted with our new friends.