Ballet or circus? Ballet or circus? Despite Russia’s world renowned ballet…we chose the circus! We definitely made the right choice!

When you arrive at the Nikulin Circus hall, it smells just like any other circus…popcorn! Yum!! However, it doesn’t look like your typical Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey. In the lobby are all kinds of circus animals waiting to make your childhood dreams come true!

Because who doesn’t love a bear in a ruffled collar?

Here is the leopard…so doped out he can’t even open his eyes.During the performance, ABSOLUTELY no photos were allowed. I’m not kidding here! If you tried to sneak a snapshot, the crazy Russian lady would walk over and yell at you with hands flailing, insinuating that she would take your camera and kick you out of the circus (and probably out of the country). The message was clear, even without a translation! We saw it happen several times and it was enough to scare us into compliance.

There were two acts that are really worth sharing, but you will have to rely on my storytelling due to the lack of pictures. There was no way we were going to mess with the Russians…even at the circus!

Towards the end of the first half, they covered the circus-ring floor with plastic and started flashing ocean scenes on the wall. You know what that means?! Sea lions! Four of them came sliding out and the male was the biggest sea lion I have ever seen in my life! It had to weigh at least 2,000 pounds. It was absolutely huge! Unbelievably huge! So huge that we tried to sneak a picture, but fell victim to the terrorizing finger wags of the Russian anti-photo mafia.

After the obligatory flipper-claps and balancing beach balls on noses…the fun began! Hello dance party! Ever seen a sea lion do the “Night at the Roxbury”? It’s not bad. What about the “Stanky Legg”? It’s pretty good…considering they don’t have legs. How about the “Harlem Shake”? It’s AMAZING…trust me!!

I’m probably biased, but I thought pinnipeds at the prom would be hard to beat. Then came the big cats! In order to truly appreciate this spectacle, you need a visual of the circus hall. Here is a picture we managed to get before the show started:

What you can’t see here is the height of the rafters where the lights, rigging, etc. were hanging. From floor to ceiling was probably about six stories tall. Before they started the cat act, a safety fence was built, which was probably about two stories high. After some growling and hopping on two legs by the cats, and weird dancing from the lion tamers, two “scratching posts” appeared from the side of the ring. “Scratching post” is a gross underestimation here, but it is a starting point. Imagine a cat scratching post that is taller than a grown man and at least three feet in diameter. You can’t find one of those at PetSmart!

Now, imagine two spotted leopards hanging from these substantial scratching posts, swinging back and forth about twenty feet in the air (within the confines of the safety net, mind you). Crazy, huh? We’re not finished though. It was the panther’s turn next. Another massive scratching post swung into the ring and the panther took a leap. Thank goodness he was successful because the post was rapidly moving towards the rafters. They raised that sexy black panther past the safety net and about three quarters of the way to the ceiling! It was insane!

Want to know how to get your jungle feline to dangle hundreds of feet in the air to the awe of japing-mouthed observers? Use carabineers to attach huge chunks of meat to the top of your oversized “scratching post”! Keep your other tigers happy by pulling more chunks of meat from under the stage and tossing them to obedient recipients! Voilà! You’ve now got yourself a Russian circus act!

My recountance of these acts probably don’t do them justice; however, the circus was one of my favorite parts of our trip to Russia. Dancing sea lions + flying cats = sooooo much better than a ballet!